He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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