Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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