Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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