Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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