I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize