Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
