I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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