she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize