Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
