I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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