i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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