drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The best revenge is premature balding
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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