how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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