He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
