you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
