Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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