ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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