Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
