Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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