Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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