Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
