you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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