I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
