Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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