I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
