I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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