she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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