a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
someone threw a dead crab at me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Alive.
So much puke
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you never un-have a 4some
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
