GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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