When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
