i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize