We're facebook friends in real life
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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