I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
