if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
