We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
