Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
