The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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