I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She bit a glass in half.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
