ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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