Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
