i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
