No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize