I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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