no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
