the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
