Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
