haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
