I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Vodka?
Forever.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
