This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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