I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize