watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
