talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
