feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
