i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
