Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
