He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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