Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
