they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
