He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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