i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
