So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize