It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
