At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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